What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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A guy walks into a bar

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops