Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

A bar walks into a man

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

Gay rights.

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...