how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops