Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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