Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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WNBA

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops