What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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i hate non minorities!

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Santa isn't real

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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