what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

What stops a train? A missile

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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