Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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