If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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the bible

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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were you expecting a joke

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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