What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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