How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops