roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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what is big and white? Your Mom

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops