Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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