Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops