To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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a man makes a bad joke

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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God is real.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops