What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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