why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

This isn't funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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