im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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