What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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A shark ate your mom

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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