Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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