A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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hi jonny

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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