60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops