A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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The awkward moment when you don't know whether to like or dislike this because you think I want like so you are gonna dislike but what If I want dislikes, but what if I want likes, you are confused Antijokeception....

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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