My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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My Nan, that is all.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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