What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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How are friends and trees alike? They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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rent a cops

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops