How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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i committed murder

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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Indians

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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