What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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NEVER

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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wenis

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops