Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why can't february march Because april may

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops