roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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