Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops