I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Immigration Laws

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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How did Bush really get into the White House? The front door.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops