What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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