How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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why did the man paint his house? cause he never wanted to mow the lawn

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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