How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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