When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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The Morman Religion.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops