what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

A chicken walks into a barn.

I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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