When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Mogok Papiti.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...