Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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