What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Guess what? The Game.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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