Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Your big dick.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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