when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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