You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Mogok Papiti.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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