How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops