roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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