- Anti Joke

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

What is the difference between my right hand and my left hand? I used my right hand to stab your mother.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?