What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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top kek

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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