A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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