The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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No

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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