One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Manchester City

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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