Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

what is red white and blue? the french flag

Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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