Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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