What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops