Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

thumb_up thumb_down -33

YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

ur gey

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops