There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

We are sorry for being so sorry, and apologize again for apologizing so much... Why wont you just let me apologize? Does this insult you? I apologize. HEY! STOP THAT! I SAID I WAS SORRY SORRY FOR BEING SORRY! FORGIVE ME PLEASE SORRY WHY ARE YOU DRAWING THAT KNIFE OUT OF THE... LISTEN I AM SORRY!!! From my book the boy that cried help too much: The help arrived and the boy was never seen again. TRIPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING! QUADRUPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING...ETC.

Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

united we sit, cause we're fat

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

No

Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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