Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops