A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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