Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops