youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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A guy at a baseball game....

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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