Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops