What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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Do the roar!

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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