What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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The global news

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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